Damara’s Text- Translation (I;m not trolling, I swear)

MEENAH: sooooo

MEENAH: megido

MEENAH: here we are again

MEENAH: i guess


MEENAH: please tell me this reunion is as awkward for you as it is for me


MEENAH: not gonna say nofin huh

MEENAH: just going to stand there and leave me wrigglin on the hook during this frosty silence

MEENAH: come on you nutty bitch at least do SOM-EFIN to break the ice



MEENAH: hey you didnt by any chance kidnap nitrams lusus did you

MEENAH: or steal all his dorky fiduspawn loot

MEENAH: i thought we were past this

MEENAH: dont tell me youre still tormenting the guy even after eternity

DAMARA: Take your dual fork. Fuck yourself twice.

MEENAH: do what to myself twice with my double W)(AT exactly??

MEENAH: cod damn your weird accent is thick as ever

DAMARA: It is not thick enough to give sexual pleasure to you.

DAMARA: Will you continue boring me with your words? Or, will you take off my clothes?

DAMARA: I want to feel my nipples between your teeth.


MEENAH: did you just tell me to bite something or

MEENAH: screw it i give up

MEENAH: language barrier be a fuckin motherglubber


MEENAH: hey so guess what! im building an army to kill lord ahahahaha


MEENAH: like you could give a fuck about saving reality and or wouldnt just be a huge backstabbin liability out there

DAMARA: Very unfair.

MEENAH: but just for shits an cuttles uh

MEENAH: been sorta wondering

MEENAH: back when we like

MEENAH: kind of ruined each others shit

MEENAH: because of that whole cycle of revenge deal

MEENAH: and i ended up dyin and god tiering and all

MEENAH: remember that

DAMARA: I remember.

DAMARA: I sometimes masturbate to that memory.

MEENAH: aight not sure i followed that but ill assume it was more weird skanky sass

MEENAH: but what i want to know is

MEENAH: after the fight

MEENAH: did i hurt you bad enough that you maybe

MEENAH: crawled off and died somewhere

MEENAH: like in a quest cocoon


MEENAH: were you maybe all bloodied up from all those forkins

MEENAH: and then maybe along comes a friend with a maddening inability to hold a grudge against you for the ways you fucked him over

MEENAH: maybe trotting along in his new robo horse body and swooped your bloody torso up on his back

MEENAH: galloped off to your cocoon and draped you on the slab while probly not havin the nerve to finish you off

MEENAH: this ringin any bells

DAMARA: What the fuck are you talking about, you idiot bitch?


MEENAH: holy mackerel gettin info outta yous like prying a pearl from a slutty murderous clam

DAMARA: Clams do not produce pearls. You know nothing of the sea.

MEENAH: yeah i know clams dont make pearls!!! look i just misspoke it was a hasty burn ok

MEENAH: dont be calling out my authority on the ocean dmeg you know i got all watery junk on LOCK

MEENAH: who you think you tryin to rile up with that amateur noise

DAMARA: You seem to be very angry. Chill the fuck out. Let’s touch each other. Please, get stoned with me.

MEENAH: omg i cant understand you

MEENAH: chill out and do W)(AT with you…

MEENAH: going to ask again as simple as i can


DAMARA: Exactly how much do you want to know, water-bitch?

MEENAH: damara

MEENAH: if horrible conversations was a video game you would truly be last boss

MEENAH: now where the fucks aranea and her lil windbag stand lets just get this jam over with already

DAMARA: Do you want to be me?

DAMARA: You can not be me if you can not understand me.

DAMARA: Further, you can not be me if you cannot fuck me.

MEENAH: ummm yeah no idea what you said

MEENAH: guess someone who speaks your gibberish needs to ask

RUFIOH: hey doll… don’t suppose you had anyth1ng to do w1th the recent d1sappearance of my lusus, d1d you?

DAMARA: Of course not. Your accusation is outrageous.

RUFIOH: yeah… sure… l1ke 1 bel1eve that!

RUFIOH: l1ke 1’m not so on to your tr1cks by now…

DAMARA: …So, have you broke up with him yet?

RUFIOH: no… not yet…

RUFIOH: 1 tr1ed… but 1 just couldn’t do 1t… 1t’s hard, you know?

DAMARA: Do you mean, how it feels when your lover has betrayed you? Yes, I know.

RUFIOH: d*mn… so cold, g1rl. why can’t you let the past go?

RUFIOH: anyway… once 1 actually do get up the nerve to break 1t to h1m… don’t be th1nk1ng th1s 1s your b1g chance w1th me!

RUFIOH: 1t’s over between us for good… k1nda for obv1ous reasons… so just fr1ends, you d1g?

DAMARA: Right. We will see.

RUFIOH: haha… yeah, 1 f1gured you’d be l1ke that.

RUFIOH: anyway, meenah k1nd of needs to keep go1ng through th1s bubble… 1 know you l1ke to make sh*t d1ff1cult for everyone all the t1me, but…

RUFIOH: you th1nk you could get r1d of that b1g *ss 1ceberg th1ng you dropped there?

DAMARA: No fucking way.

RUFIOH: aw, come on… do 1t for me, damara?

DAMARA: Fine. But you owe me sexual favors.

RUFIOH: hahahaha… wow… alr1ght uh… maybe? just go…

HORUSS: 8=D < Oh, hello Damara. I heard you were having a mechanical issue with your chest over here. Mind if I take a 100k?

DAMARA: You can view my chest at any time.

HORUSS: 8=D < I… think you said yes? Sorry, I really struggle with your coarse lowb100d accent.

DAMARA: Please pour milk on top of my boobs.

HORUSS: 8=D < I didn’t quite understand that either. Something about milk? Served to you in a particular way?

HORUSS: 8=D < Yes, if you would like some milk, I can bring you some later. I’ll just need to equip my steam powered deSTRENGTHening gloves so that I may hand you the glass without shattering it.

DAMARA: No. Please do not wear gloves. I like it rough. Crush my body, horse man.

HORUSS: 8=D < I really need to finish my universal translation device so we can have a more coherent conversation. It’s just so difficult to get the circuitry to function correctly when one insists on relying on steam power.

DAMARA: You, please make sure that my genitals ghostly have a sexual climax. You must do it with your phantom horse’s penis.

HORUSS: 8=D < You want me to bring your what to what e%actly with my what?

DAMARA: Rub your sweaty face on my bare bottom.

HORUSS: 8=D < Hmm. I…

HORUSS: 8=D < Sure?

DAMARA: I’m your Asian schoolgirl. You can reduce my clothes to shreds. You need to please me. Please use your horn.

HORUSS: 8=D < Do what with your schoolgirl uniform?

HORUSS: 8=D < I wouldn’t want to do anything to ruin it. It’s quite nice.

HORUSS: 8=D < But perhaps I could craft a robotic avatar for you, emulating your fashion choices. Actually, if I did that, I could install more sensible speech algorithms, so that I could understand you for a change.

DAMARA: Be quiet. Fuck me in silence.

HORUSS: 8=D < Um. *Cough.*

DAMARA: Go into my body, or I will destroy you.

HORUSS: 8=D < Damara, forgive me if I’m leaping to conclusions, but has the nature of your cryptic remarks been leaning… well…

HORUSS: 8=D < A little b100?


DAMARA: Do you want to be me?

DAMARA: You can not be me if you can not understand me.

DAMARA: Further, you can not be me if you can not fuck me.

HORUSS: 8=D < Come again?

HORUSS: 8=D < I suppose Rufioh should ask. He’s always been the only one who can parse your vulgar, peasant tongue.

RUFIOH: gotta be honest damara… 1 been feel1ng pretty bad…

DAMARA: Why is this?

RUFIOH: um… you can keep a secret, r1ght?

DAMARA: Yes, of course. I am your friend.

RUFIOH: yeah…

RUFIOH: 1t’s horuss… and you know… been th1nk1ng about break1ng 1t off w1th h1m…

DAMARA: Break what? His horn?

RUFIOH: hahaha! naw… that wouldn’t do much good…

RUFIOH: 1 mean… 1 feel l1ke a chump for even th1nk1ng about 1t… he’s been so cool…

RUFIOH: but d*mn! etern1ty 1s a long f***1ng t1me!!! 1 dunno 1f a relat1onsh1p should really last that long…

DAMARA: How is your sex life?

RUFIOH: whoa, uh… k1nda personal quest1on? anyway that’s not 1t…

RUFIOH: 1 feel gu1lty for say1ng so… 1’m just not 1nto 1t… so many repet1t1ve dates over the m1llen1a… so much l1ke… talk1ng about l1vestock and b1g muscular an1mals and… 1 dunno. those aren’t really my 1nterests…

RUFIOH: maybe we were never that compat1ble and 1 just never had the guts to say so?

DAMARA: RUFIOHI told you this thing. Every day. Forever.

RUFIOH: 1 know, 1 know… 1 d1dn’t l1sten to you… 1 f1gured you were st1ll all mad and jealous!!!

DAMARA: I was jealous and angry.

RUFIOH: r1ght… 1 just don’t know what to do.

RUFIOH: he’s great… but he’s so cl1ngy! 1 don’t know how he keeps that up after all th1s t1me… dude’s got stam1na… 1’m just l1ke… romant1cally exhausted. you get me, doll?

DAMARA: Love is dead to me. So long ago, someone stabbed me through the heart.

RUFIOH: heh, touche.

RUFIOH: but for real… 1 just don’t want to hurt h1s feel1ngs…

DAMARA: Do you want me to kill him? Again?

RUFIOH: no!!! god, no… don’t hurt anyone… let’s not go there aga1n!

DAMARA: Do you want me to seduce him?

RUFIOH: er… 1 guess 1f the two of you are l1ke… um. that’s really between you and h1m? not sure he would go for that… anyway, 1 don’t th1nk that would actually help me…

DAMARA: I’ll bring the devil to consume his soul.

RUFIOH: man, no! 1 told you, please don’t feed anyone’s soul to ANYBODY!!!

RUFIOH: you’ve got to keep crazy talk l1ke that down, damara!

RUFIOH: 1f people knew some of the sh*t you sa1d… how you say crazy sh*t l1ke you want to serve h1m… f***!

RUFIOH: 1t wouldn’t be cool… people would fl1p…

RUFIOH: h*ll, d1dn’t you hear meenah was try1ng to ra1se an army to k1ll h1m?

RUFIOH: 1f she could hear some of the th1ngs you told me… sh*t… 1 can’t ever let her f1nd out…

RUFIOH: 1f she knew, you’d both start f1ght1ng aga1n…

DAMARA: You will only delay the inevitable.

DAMARA: The end of our time is near.

DAMARA: There are no more games, horse man. Fuck me now.

HORUSS: 8=D < E%cuse me?

DAMARA: I bend across HORSEAPONI. You fuck me hard. HORSEY style.

HORUSS: 8=D < Oh! I see you’ve taken an interest in this fine, albeit diminutive steed given to me as a gift earlier.

HORUSS: 8=D < Isn’t it wonderful? I shall feed it many an apple and it will grow to be STRONG.

DAMARA: Feed me apple. Then, grab my hair. You will ride me like a champ.

HORUSS: 8=D < I don’t… do what with your horns? Ride what, now?

DAMARA: You can fill the bucket. Then, splash the contents all over my body. Then throw me in a pile of hay.

HORUSS: 8=D < You want me to… something about… hay? Hm.

DAMARA: I can suck your horn. At the same time, you slap my ass. Do it rhythmically. Also, neigh.

HORUSS: 8=D < You would like me to perform… what rhythmic behavior, e%actly? While making which animal noise?

DAMARA: Fuck my all iterations. Cause all of us to experience sexual ecstasy. We try to orgasm in unison.

HORUSS: 8=D < Do what with… wait… all of you? Wouldn’t that be quite a lot of Damaras, regardless of the activity you are trying to describe?

DAMARA: Please wrap me with a clean towel. I must moan like farm animals.

DAMARA: Snort angrily in between my legs. I would scream like a lamb that was killed.

DAMARA: Let us have our ass together. Participate in the common orgasm. At the end of all that surrounds us.

HORUSS: 8=D < Trying to decode your speech is quite agitating, you know.

HORUSS: 8=D < Whenever I talk to you, my system gets a little switchy.

HORUSS: 8=D < I begin to faintly channel an ancient soul from Alterniasia, and I come very close to understanding you. But then it vanishes just as quickly, and my host vessel is left with nothing but an overwhelming e%perience of perspiration.

HORUSS: 8=D < Not that I would e%pect a lowly rust b100ded singleton like you to understand.

DAMARA: Degrade me more, I’m almost there.

DAMARA: Freak.

DAMARA: You challenge the lord of time.

DAMARA: Your pathetic army must fail.

DAMARA: He will eat your ghost, for he consumes reality itself.

MEENAH: i think…

MEENAH: it sounded like…

MEENAH: youre tryin to wish me luck in my upcoming battle?

MEENAH: hey thanks megido

MEENAH: maybe i had you all wrong

DAMARA: No. You did not.

MEENAH: aw ive probably been a bitch to you for no reason

MEENAH: lets forget all that shit ever happened

MEENAH: hey how about a hug

MEENAH: whoa watch where youre puttin that hand!!!

DAMARA: I do not regret anything.

MEENAH: apology accepted

MEENAH: hey you get around to moving that huge quartz glacier yet

MEENAH: kind of in a hurry here

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